


It's A Start

by wowza



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Brief Violence, Depression, Homophobia, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Starvation, brief sex scene, but it's tasteful, hinata just loves kageyama so much ok, hinata shouyou - Freeform, kageyama tobio - Freeform, they'll get through anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:13:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24548185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wowza/pseuds/wowza
Summary: 'Tobio hasn’t left his room in three days. I’m worried about him.'Hinata’s surprised to receive the text from Kageyama’s mom. He was starting to think being chased out of their house half-naked would be the last time he had contact with anyone in that family; but the piercing chime of his cell phone proves him wrong.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 6
Kudos: 246





	It's A Start

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I'm back with another KageHina fic- I just can't escape this ship! I love them too much. I really hope you guys like this one, please let me know what you think in the comments. Also- feel free to check out my tumblr @anime-wow. Enjoy!

_ Tobio hasn’t left his room in three days. I’m worried about him _ . 

Hinata’s surprised to receive the text from Kageyama’s mom. He was starting to think being chased out of their house half-naked would be the last time he had contact with anyone in that family; but the piercing chime of his cell phone proves him wrong. 

_ What did you expect? _ Hinata writes back, tossing the phone onto his mattress after he hits send. He would usually never talk to an adult like that, but given the circumstances he doesn’t really feel too bad about it. The only reason she even has his phone number is so she can always find her ever-disconnected son; and by the sound of it, she knows exactly where he is. 

Hinata flips onto his side and puffs out a sigh, curling in on himself. It had been about a week ago when everything went wrong; and it was still difficult for him to think about it without dissolving into a sobbing, blubbering mess. 

…

Kageyama’s parents always work late on Fridays. Well, they used to always work late on Fridays. His mom would work the evening shift; and when his dad was in town (which was only about half of the time) he always had to go to an end-of-the-week meeting after his usual (long) business day. So when Kageyama asked Hinata to come over after practice, it wasn’t like it was out of the ordinary. In fact, it was routine. 

“As if you even have to ask,” he had said with a smile. They left the gym side by side; and as soon as they reached the shelter of the setter’s familiar home, they collided. Hinata crashed his lips against the taller boy’s, flinging his arms around his neck to try and pull him down, closer. He felt Kageyama’s large, warm hands on the backs of his legs and he jumped up, allowing himself to be carried down the hall to his boyfriend’s bedroom. 

With their bodies pressed together, sharing the same air and the same warmth, Hinata was practically glowing, emanating joy and passion. He felt so happy and relieved to be held by Kageyama again, to feel his skin and to move against him in a way that no one else was allowed to. 

Kageyama tugged at his t-shirt and Hinata sat up, allowing it to be pulled off. He smiled at the feeling of the freckles on his shoulders being kissed, and he let out a shuddery breath when the taller boy’s eager mouth moved to the sensitive skin of his neck. He kissed at his favorite spot just below Hinata’s ear, but moved down to his collarbone, knowing better than to leave a mark that his jersey wouldn’t cover. 

“Tobio,” he whispered, his gentle voice cutting through the thick air. “Make love to me.”

Kageyama’s eyes flickered with passion, and he wondered how he could have possibly gotten so lucky. He bent down again, capturing the smaller boy’s lips in a fiery kiss, this time with new purpose and urgency. 

At the beginning of their relationship, Kageyama had always approached physical intimacy with a degree of trepidation but now, months later, all of that fear and anxiety was nothing but an artifact of past uncertainty, long abolished from either of their realms of thought. He knew Hinata’s body like the back of his hand, knew exactly how to make him squirm and sigh with pleasure. 

Hinata clung on to his boyfriend’s toned arms as their bodies moved fluidly together. The smell of sweat and the flush of bare skin was so intoxicating, he felt like he was floating. 

“I love you Shouyou,” Kageyama whispered against his lips like a secret. Hinata knew, of course, but outside the throes of passion the dark-haired boy was usually too embarrassed to say it. But he always got a little sappy when they were together like this, the words drawn out of him like he was suspended in hypnosis. They felt so safe in that moment, so tethered and untouchable, so free and seperate from the rest of the world. It was such a shame what happened next. 

It all happened so fast. Before Hinata even knew what was going on, his boyfriend was being yanked away from him and the menacing face of Kageyama’s father had materialized above them. He dragged Kageyama off of the bed by his hair; the raven-haired boy’s face that had been so soft and happy just moments ago was now marred with pain. He was yelling so loud Hinata could barely make out what he was saying. He wanted to go help, to run up and push the seething man away, make him get off and stop hurting his Tobio; but the shock pulsing through his system had him glued to the bed, frozen and mute. 

“I can’t believe this! My own son, my  _ only _ son is a disgusting freak! How  _ dare _ you bring this filth into my home? What do you have to say for yourself?” He slammed Kageyama against a wall and Hinata snapped out of it, jumping to his feet. 

“Leave him alone!” he called out in panic, just wanting him to stop hurting the reason for his happiness. 

Kageyama’s father released the death-grip on his son’s head and spun around. Hinata had never been so scared before in his entire life. The menacing look in his eyes was unlike anything the spiker had seen, and Hinata almost tripped while tugging his gym shorts back on. 

“I’m going to kill you!”

When he saw Kageyama’s dad charge at him, his brain went into autopilot and all he could think was  _ run _ . He lunged forward, scrambling past the threatening man and out of the room. He didn’t want to leave his boyfriend behind where he knew it was not safe, but Kageyama’s dad chased him down the hall and out of the house, following him closely behind, armed with an arsenal of profanities. 

Hinata ran for fifteen more minutes before realizing he had no idea where he was. He had no shirt, no shoes, and no bike. Luckily, his phone was still safely tucked away in his shorts pocket. He called his mom, tears streaming down his face and Kageyama running through his mind. 

_ Are you okay? _

_ What’s happening over there? _

_ God, I hope you’re okay. _

_ Please text me. _

_ Are you mad at me? _

_ I’m sorry. _

_ Please let me know that you’re okay.  _

After the incident, Hinata texted Kageyama obsessively. He felt like his entire world was falling apart. To be honest, it kind of was. All he wanted was some sort of sign that he was okay; that he was safe even though Hinata ran instead of helping him. It wasn’t until Sunday that Hinata heard anything back. When he saw the text was from Kageyama, he could barely breathe as he scrambled to unlock his phone. 

_ This is Kageyama’s mother. We’ve taken his phone. Please stop texting him _ . 

… 

It’s Thursday now, and Hinata hasn’t seen his boyfriend all week. Could he even call him that anymore? Is Kageyama still his boyfriend? He doesn’t know, but he has a hard time believing Kageyama’s parents will let them see each other anymore after this. 

Even if he could never curl up against his side and pull him close and fall asleep in his arms and call him his own like he wants to, Hinata still thinks Kageyama should at least show up to school and come to volleyball practice. Shit, if Hinata’s the reason he can’t or won’t, he thinks that maybe he should just quit the team himself. Then Kageyama could at least come back. Volleyball is the most important thing in Hinata’s life (besides Tobio), but even he thinks the dark-haired boy needs it more. 

Hinata thinks about the text he had received from Kageyama’s mother.  _ Tobio hasn’t left his room in three days _ . Hinata doesn’t blame him; why would he leave his room? So he can be harassed by his family over something he can’t even control? Sure, having his father walk in on the two of them in an…  _ intimate moment _ certainly wasn’t the  _ best _ way of coming out, but would his reaction really have been any different otherwise? Hinata doesn’t know. 

Still, three days is a long time. Is he eating properly? Is he getting enough water? Did Hinata ruin his life? All the spiker wants to do is hold him, tell him everything is going to be okay even if it really isn’t. He wonders if Kageyama regrets ever meeting him. 

_ Brrrring! Brrring!  _ The grating sound of his ringtone echoes out into the night and Hinata scrambles to silence it, hoping it hasn’t woken up any of his family members. The clock reads  _ 9:30 p.m. _ . It’s not  _ too _ late, but it’s a weekday so the house is otherwise silent. When he sees who’s calling, he hesitates before answering it. 

“Yes?”

“Hinata-kun? Hinata-kun, this is Kageyama Yua.” She speaks in a hushed voice, clearly trying not to be overheard. Hinata laughs darkly when he hears her say her given name. Yua: binding love and affection.  _ Yeah right _ , he thinks.

“Please leave me alone. This has been hard enough.” And it’s true. For the emotional athlete Hinata has proven himself to be throughout his life, he can swear that he has never felt this sad, and everyone can tell. No one on the team knows what happened, but it’s obvious that A.) Kageyama is gone, B.) Hinata is not acting like Hinata, and C.) A and B are clearly related somehow. No one knows what to say. 

Hinata is about to hang up when she calls out again, and he’s taken aback by the desperation in her voice. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, and Hinata knows that she is crying. For a moment he is stunned, surprised by the sudden vulnerability of an adult and unsure of how to handle the situation.

“Kageyama-san?”

“I don’t know what to do, Tobio hasn’t spoken to us all week. At first he would come to the kitchen and take food to his room, but he hasn’t left in days. I leave him food but he doesn’t touch it! I told him he couldn’t miss any more school but he doesn’t listen, he just lies in bed all day. I don’t know what to do.” She breaks down, muffling her sobs with her hand but they reach the speaker anyways. 

Hinata feels sick imagining the setter like that. His spirit must be so broken. 

“Kageyama-san,” he says, trying to pick his words carefully. “I know you weren’t there on Friday, but I know enough about your son to say that what happened was probably one of the most traumatic events of his entire life. It was terrifying.” He says the last part barely above a whisper. “It’s no surprise that he’s shutting down like this.”

“Will you talk to him?”

“What?” Hinata’s heartbeat speeds up. “Me?”

She sounds so conflicted. “I don’t know if this is the right thing to do. I don’t know if letting him see you will just make this whole thing worse. But I do know that if he doesn’t eat or drink anything he will just continue to get weaker and weaker, and he might listen to you. He is my son and I love him more than anything in this world.” Hinata doesn’t know how she can say that. “And I know that as crazy as this all is, he thinks that he’s in love with you.”

“He  _ is _ in love with me.”

Hinata ends the call. 

…

It is Friday and Hinata walks over to Kageyama’s house. He told the taller boy’s mother that he would. They have exchanged some more texts since last night, and Hinata knows that his only job is to get him to eat something. After that, he’s got to go. 

When he steps onto the lawn and faces the bushes and big windows lining the front of the house, he isn’t expecting to react the way he does.  _ I’m going to kill you _ . The words ring in his ears like alarms. He knows that Kageyama is  _ so close _ and all he wants is to see him, but he can’t make himself move towards the door. He turns around and leaves. It’s the first Friday in a while that Hinata doesn’t come over. 

… 

Yua calls him again that night. “What happened Hinata-kun? I thought you were going to be here.”

He’s honest. “I got scared.”

He wishes she would stop calling him that, too. ‘Hinata-kun’ is so friendly. It reminds him of how happy she was when she first realized her son had a friend. ‘Welcome back, Hinata-kun! It’s so good to see you again!’ is what she used to say, opening the door and letting him in like he belonged there. When his attachment to Kageyama made her happy and not confused. 

“Tobio’s father was gone for an interview today. It was the perfect time.”

“I’m … sorry.”

“Will you come tomorrow? I’ll figure something out. I’ll get him to leave somehow.”

“Yes, I’ll be there. Just text me when he’s gone.”

“Thank you, Hinata-kun.” She sounds so sincere. It makes him sad.

“Kageyama-san,” he whispers. He remembers pulled hair and watching his boyfriend being thrown against a wall. He shudders. “Is Tobio safe?” He doesn’t want to upset her but he has to know.

She sighs heavily and stays silent for a moment before responding. “Hinata-kun, you have to understand how much of a shock this was to my husband, especially coming home after losing his job.” Hinata didn’t know Kageyama’s father had lost his job. He doesn’t say anything. “I know what you saw might have been… concerning. But Tobio was acting irrationally and irresponsibly. He was disciplined accordingly.”

_ “Is he safe?” _ he repeats.

“Physically, he is fine.”

She hangs up. 

… 

When Hinata shows up the next day, he forces himself up to the front porch even though every instinct in his body is telling him to  _ run _ . He knocks on the door so lightly, he’s surprised Yua even hears it. A part of him wishes she hadn’t. 

“Hinata-kun! Please, come in,” she says, stepping aside so he can enter the house. She forces a smile at him and the scene is so familiar it kind of makes him sick. 

“Thank you for coming. I know this situation is awkward for us both.”

_ Understatement of the century _ , Hinata thinks as he follows her into the kitchen. The house smells so much like Kageyama he almost wants to cry. When Yua hands him a bowl of steaming pork curry, he accepts it wordlessly and starts heading down the hallway to his boyfriend’s room. He half-expects her to follow him, but he’s grateful when she doesn’t.

Hinata gently taps his knuckles against the wood of the door and lets himself in when he gets no response. He closes the door behind him and takes note of how sweaty his palms are. 

He’s not ready for what he sees. Kageyama has never been a neat person per se, but it honestly looks as if a tornado had rampaged through the small room. The navy blue curtains are drawn, and only a sliver of daylight filters through them, dully illuminating the bed where Kageyama lies under a wild nest of covers. Even his sleeping form radiates hopelessness, and Hinata can swear he feels a part of his heart break. 

He clears a small place on the jungle of Kageyama’s desk so he can put down the bowl and perches quietly on the edge of the mattress, peering down at the boy below him. It has clearly been a while since the setter last showered but Hinata doesn’t care at all, wanting nothing more than to bury his nose in the dark-haired boy’s shoulder. Kageyama’s face is softened by sleep, and he looks peaceful despite the chaos surrounding him. Hinata feels guilty awakening him, but can’t help himself from reaching down, affectionately pushing his matted bangs away from his face. His fingertips feel electric where they have touched. 

When Kageyama blinks awake, Hinata’s heart swells with affection. He sees the momentary flash of recognition in the dark eyes before he is pulled down into a bone-crushing hug. 

“Shouyou,” he whispers, as if only to confirm the shorter boy’s presence. Hinata feels hot tears run down his neck and Kageyama’s body begin to shake. 

“Don’t cry,” he says, even as a couple of stray tears escape his own eyes. “I’m here. I’ve got you.” He strokes thick black locks with his thin fingers and swears to himself that he will never let Kageyama feel this way ever again. They hold each other for what feels like an eternity, just swaying and relishing in the feeling of being close again. When Kageyama pulls away, it’s only so he can see Hinata’s soft, kind eyes. 

Hinata offers him a smile, and the taller boy swoops down for a kiss. He can’t keep it together for very long, however, and the gesture falls apart as quickly as it begins. He buries his face in the spiker’s chest, feeling the soft material of his shirt against his cheek as he breathes in the familiar scent. Hinata smells like peppermint and fresh laundry; it soothes Kageyama almost immediately. 

“What are you doing here?” He mumbles, voice deep and muffled against his boyfriend. 

“Your mom called me over.”

Kageyama stiffens before pulling away, confusion etched onto his face. “My mom?”

“You’ve got to eat, darling.” Hinata caresses the side of Kageyama’s tear-stained face before retrieving the bowl of pork curry from the desk. 

Kageyama looks away. “I’m not hungry.”

Hinata’s emotions betray his strong resolve, and tears begin to stream freely from his eyes. He knows that he is supposed to be the strong one in this situation, but the thought of Kageyama, his most special person, not taking care of himself is too much for his heart to bear. 

“Please Tobio,” he chokes out between soft sobs, “please just eat something. Please.” 

Tobio’s eyes flicker with guilt and he averts his eyes, staring down at his clenched fists. “I… I can’t. I’m sorry,” he says honestly. “What’s the point? I wish I could just die in this room.”

Hinata’s chest constricts. He quite literally feels his heart break. “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that again. The world would be so much emptier without you in it.” He releases a shuddery breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. “I would miss you so much. I missed you all week.”

“I missed you too.”

“Come back to school.”

Kageyama sighs. “I don’t feel like I can do anything right now.”

“But I know you can,” Hinata pleads, “nothing is the same without you.”

“You’re not hearing me! I  _ can’t _ . Everything feels so pointless right now. I don’t know how I can ever go back to normal life after this. Nothing is ever going to be normal for me again.”

Hinata nods even though he doesn’t really understand. 

“My parents took my phone away, said I was messed up in the head. They set me up on a date with the daughter of a family friend but I couldn’t even get out of bed. That really got them mad.” Kageyama’s hands ball into fists. “They’re never going to let this go. They’re never going to accept me. My life is never going to be the same now that they know.”

Hinata doesn’t know what to say, so he holds him close and lets him cry. He kisses his hair and keeps him close to his heart, where he belongs. 

When Yua comes to get him, Hinata leaves even though Kageyama tells him not to go. Walking out the door is even harder than walking in. Kageyama doesn’t touch the pork curry. 

… 

_ Please let me come back. _ Hinata stares intently (desperately) at his phone, almost as if he could manifest a response through power of will alone. When he sees that Yua is typing, he starts to sweat. 

_ Thank you for coming, Hinata-kun. I’m sure you gave it your best shot, but it clearly wasn’t effective. It was a foolish idea in the first place- I’m sure I only managed to confuse you boys even further. I will find some other way, but I wish you the best in sorting through your own issues in the future.  _

‘Issues.’ Hinata thinks of stolen kisses and bubbling laughter and childish (but infinitely endearing) nicknames. He remembers falling in love with Kageyama in summertime. He thinks back to the first time Kageyama called him ‘Shouyou’ and the first time he told him he loved him. If these were ‘issues,’ Hinata thinks he must be the most fucked-up person on the planet. 

_ I’ll get him to eat. I promise.  _ He holds his breath waiting for an answer. 

_ Come by on Monday.  _

…

When Hinata comes back, he does so with a fierce determination. He knocks on the door with purpose and gives Yua a meaningful smile when she appears. 

“Welcome back, Hinata-kun,” she says. She begins to lead him over to the kitchen, but he stops her. “That’s okay, I’ve actually got something,” he tells her, using his thumb to gesture back to his school bag. 

He knows Kageyama is sleeping, but he knocks lightly as a courtesy before letting himself in. The setter lies in bed, and Hinata notices that he is wearing the same clothes he had seen him in on Saturday. He trots over to him and runs his cool fingers down his boyfriend’s arm, stopping to rest his hand in Kageyama’s warmer, larger one (where it belongs). 

Kageyama awakens slowly, but smiles fondly when he realizes who’s caused him to stir. He gives the pale hand a squeeze. 

“You’re back.”

“Of course I am.”

Kageyama raises the corner of his duvet and Hinata instinctively joins him under the covers and tangles their legs together. He doesn’t even mind how bad the other boy smells; they just need each other right now. 

“I missed you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you for a minute,” Hinata breathes into the grey-eyed boy’s shoulder. 

“I missed you, too.”

Hinata pulls back and looks his boyfriend in the eye. “How are you?” he asks cautiously.

“The same.” He lets out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know if things could get any worse.”

“Are you sorry that you ever met me?”

Kageyama freezes. “What?”

“Did I ruin your life?” Hinata’s eyes pool with tears and he chokes back a sob. He can’t help it. Kageyama would have been so much better off if their paths had never crossed, right? His parents would be ruffling his hair and telling him they love him; and he would be going to school and to practice. He would be eating. 

“How can you think that?”

“Well it’s true, right?”

“No,” he whispers, planting a shaky kiss to the orange mop of Hinata’s hair. “That couldn’t be further from the truth. You’re everything to me, you’re perfect in my eyes. Meeting you and having the privilege of loving you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Don’t ever think differently. I love you, Shouyou.”

They’re silent for what feels like an eternity before Hinata speaks up again. “If you really love me then you’ve got to keep going, even if it’s hard.”

“Shou-”

“No, listen,” he interrupts, pulling away completely and sitting upright in the bed. He leans over the edge to retrieve his backpack and tugs it onto his lap. “I know that things are shit right now. To be honest, they’re probably not going to be easy for a while. But look at this.”

Hinata unzips his backpack and pulls out an article that he had printed out this afternoon, the first time he had ever forgone lunch to make a trip to the library. He hands the paper to his confused boyfriend, who moves to sit up as well. 

“What’s this?” he asks, reading the headline.  _ Taiwan Becomes First Country in Asia to Legalize Same-Sex Marriage. _

“Read it, Tobio!” Hinata can barely contain the excited smile that blooms across his face. Kageyama melts. “I wanted to show you this. In Taiwan, people like us can get married! It’s the first country on the entire continent of Asia to do that, isn’t it amazing? And look here-” he points to a paragraph lower down on the page. “It’s legal in 29 countries around the world! Maybe we could move to one of them some day.”

Kageyama feels like he’s about to cry, and he doesn’t even know why. “But look at this! We might not have to move. Things are changing in Japan, too,” Hinata continues, “there are multiple political parties that have added same-sex marriage to their party platforms. That means they’re on our side! Some gay people even work for the government. That means people actually voted for them! Isn’t that amazing?”

Hinata goes digging through hig bag for another paper and gasps when he finds it, pulling it out triumphantly. “I want you to read this one, too! It’s amazing. There’s a lot of weird science words in it, but it’s about these amazing things called stem cells and we all have them. Some scientists were able to turn them into eggs and sperm, regardless of the person’s gender. I know that sounds kind of weird, but think about it! If they can make an egg out of a guy’s stem cell, then a lot of people think that maybe people like us will eventually be able to have kids!” 

Hinata throws his hands up in the air, caught up in his own excitement. “Just think about it! What if we had little kids running around that were the perfect combination of the two of us? Well, of course I’d just want them to all look like you, but isn’t that just amazing?”

Kageyama slowly takes the piece of paper into his own hands. He holds it so gently, as if he might break it. “Is this really true?” He asks quietly.

“Of course it is!”

Kageyama can’t stop himself from crying. Hinata softens. 

“What’s wrong Yama-Yama?” he asks, nudging him with his knee. 

“Nothing, nothing’s wrong,” he says, sniffling and wiping away his tears. “I can’t believe you found all of this.”

“I just wanted to show you that it’s not all bad. And this really proves it, don’t you think? I know things are hard, but the future is really bright. I hope you’ll be there to share it with me.” 

Kageyama doesn’t trust himself to speak, so he just nods his head. When Hinata digs through his bag again, Kageyama doesn’t know if he can handle another article. All of this information was incredible, but he was a little overwhelmed by it all. Instead, Hinata produces a small cup of yogurt and a plastic spoon, comically tied to a dripping ice pack in typical Hinata fashion. 

It’s GunGun yogurt, the same kind Kageyama always gets from the vending machines at school. He figured that’s where Hinata got this one, and it’s almost jarring to see something from the outside world in his room after so long. 

“I read online that after you haven’t eaten in a while, it’s best to have something like yogurt that’s easy on your stomach. And besides, this is your favorite, right? You have it almost every day.”

Kageyama eyes the container skeptically, but his stomach lets out a tight, unintentional growl. Hinata peels back the tin foil and places the spoon into the dark-haired boy’s palm, closing his fingers around it. He holds the yogurt out in front of him. 

“Things really are getting better. Now’s not the time to give up, Tobio.”

Kageyama takes a slow breath and raises his arm, scooping out a spoonful of yogurt. He brings up to his lips and pauses before swallowing it down. It’s not much, and it’s not perfect, but it’s a start. 


End file.
